Archive | July, 2011

Pakistanis Don’t Talk About The Three-Letter-Word and Jeanette Khan Is A Dumbass.

9 Jul

So I just read this piece by some Jeanette Khan on Huffington Post titled ‘Lets Talk About Sex Baby, Lets Talk About Sex In Pakistan’.

Because Ms. Khan is probably a female-version of Berlusconi, she goes around asking people ‘Are you a virgin?’ and is Oh-so-shocked that people in Pakistan don’t talk about sex all the time and with everybody.

And sex-education? Whaaa? Atleast let us establish formal education here.

Like Christopher Bitchens [ Yes, that linking was to promote my blog post. ] quotes himself religiously again and again in whatever bitching he does, Ms. Khan here seems to relate the situation of an entire country as tied to her family, cousins, chachiyan and relatives – and she keeps narrating incidents that revolved around them concerning this topic.

Oh and Valima is part of Islamic culture, dumbass.

She’s very, very distressed that flirting for her in Pakistan is either met coldly or stopped.

Its called being ghairat-less here, Ms. Khan.

And she doesn’t understand how staring at some good-looking guy doesn’t look nice. Yeah? You don’t? How about if some peeq-throwing, pot-bellied, balding desi uncle with teeth full of plague and eyes full of lasciviousness kept oogling at you? It look nice then, no? No. Because thats Poondi in Pakistan. Lecherous. Uncle or not, its impolite in all cultures.

[ Another proof of her dumbassivesness ]


‘Cousins are kept apart to dispel interaction’.
‘Not allowed tonot allowed to go to my aunt’s house without the older family members because she lives in a huge joint-family system where there are a number of young adult unmarried men. I am an unmarried young female.’

Whatdapuck?  It might be because of your a-lil-too-evident ‘red-bloodedness’. Once again, your family is NOT the nucleus of the Pakistani world or culture. What happens between them does not auntomatically happen all over the country.

‘That’s not say that men and women don’t date. They do, but always clandestinely.
I’ve seen numerous couples and groups of men and women out eating and enjoying themselves… But those families that allow their children to go out in mixed company are often more liberal and broad-minded. ‘

Wait, so all men and women dining or eating out .. are dating? ‘Clandestinely’? So if err my grandparents go out to eat, thats dating?

And I don’t know whether you visited Pakistan in 1949, but many people let their children go out to mixed concerts and other events etc. Children don’t even ask for their parents’ permission often.

*Children these days, I swear*

The conservativeness involved in this certain subject in Pakistan that you find so jaw-dropping is part of its culture and many other cultures.
We consider it an extremely private matter and just don’t like talking about it with every Tariq, Danish and Harris [ Tom, Dick and Harry – Pakistani style ] or our parents, grandparents, cousins, relatives or chachiyan and mamiyan.

Fine. Sexual taboos such as rape, harrassment etc should be broken here on all forums. I agree.

So the thing is Jeanette dear; with terrorism, inflation, poverty, chaos, target killings, clashes, nationalist movements, loadshedding, gas and water shortages – we have much more to worry and talk about than this three-letter-word.

And you don’t need to bother either whether its explained and talked about to cousins and kids here, because doesn’t the existence of 180 million suffice that people know about it?

P.S : This article just reinforced my hate for Half-Pakistanis [ Is that even a word? ] because either they are wayy too good-looking or complete dumbasses when it comes to Pakistan.